Frustration Sandwich

Like a ‘compliment sandwich’, but the opposite (frustration bread + meaty middle goodness + another frustration bread).

I work so hard and intensely on any given artwork or project, then once it’s done or almost done…it’s like I forget about it. I don’t brag about it all over or show everyone, market it or give it even it’s 15 minutes of fame. Why? I am usually pretty happy with the things I create and have tons of ideas for them, design and sales concepts that I feel could really take off….but that spark that drives my artwork and ideas and passions just doesn’t ignite for the sharing and marketing…almost as if I am unable to stop moving forward with my artwork, to the point of being detrimental to any potential I might have for anything I create. I recognize this, but it gets…’lost’ in my head or buried by my moods and whims and desire to lose myself in the moments…and then I’m just going in circles trying to find progress and/or success.

Middle yum yums: I was going through my artwork, and came across this album art I created for a friend a few years ago: AudioDopeCoverWebV

However (here comes the finishing bread of our sandwich), I don’t think it ever made it onto a physical item (I don’t know that the album ever did end up released or anything like that). The both of us (artists visual and auditory) were neither very good at the finishing and progress part. Always missing parts or things needed that never came about. I withheld it for a while, just in case it should ever come to be, but I haven’t spoken to that friend in a long while and haven’t heard anything regarding the project so…at least I can share the artwork I created for it!

-Holly

Maybe my greatest so far…

Working Title(s): On Feeling in Flow  (I don’t know if it’ll stay that, though…profound titling can be difficult); perhaps I’ll call it after myself: E/INFP-HSP (Briggs-Meyers personality type + highly-sensitive/empathic type person) since it’s certainly an abstract composition of symbolic elements in representation of visualized approximations of my inner churnings and burnings.

Largest image is most recent. Top right is earliest photo taken (result after the live paint event) in 2014, and bottom right is a midway point of progress, likely mid-to late 2015).

Dimensions: 20″ x 24″

Acrylic, watercolor, ink, graphite, and collage bits of my own artworks.

Started in late 2014 at a live paint at a nightclub show in Akron. Evolved from a composite of few separate drawings from my sketchbook (I’ll upload those also here shortly). Mostly worked on in spurts (not steadily or consistently until more recently). I’d like to see it in a gallery one day, and make prints of it to sell once it’s finished.

UPDATE: Original art sketches that were combined into the final above:

She’s Not Here, Either

Title: “She’s Not There” (with a nod to the song of the same name by the Zombies). 2014. Developed from a sketch done around 2013. Photoshop and graphite.

Concepts reflect a lot of what I was feeling at the time; (descriptive words): facade, subliminal, defiance, poison, forbidden, pain management, twisted passion and intent, misdirection, survival persona, facet, temptress, morbidity, hollow.

Resigned to evil for desires, needs, impulses, and though not malicious in original intent, results stained like a sacrifice of blood for peace. She is acceptance of the inner darkness, made possible through the abandonment of sympathy, naivety, illusion, and social decorum.She is the fiery passion, the intensity of all that burns, and such a flame consumes all else. Retaining only the selfishness, desire, the temptation of moths to a flame, it is the only way to continue on un-extinguished. As they burn, so would she if of similar accelerant made. She summons with a deadly beauty, a sickly sweet decay perfume, and keeps and feeds with a poison like ambrosia, a toxic addiction that is never forsaken.

It is not so far-fetched thus to view a demon as a survival persona.

I leave the extent of her truth and fate to each individual viewer. Is goodness, hope, selflessness adeptly buried away in a survival bargain? Or has it been completely lost altogether? And what are the boundaries of being – is it all you are and have been, or only what you are most recently? Does it include the parts of yourself you’ve disconnected, but that still exist dormant or hidden?

Another song: “Falling in love again” the version sung by Christina Aguilera.

I’m going to start planning to make prints to sell, or cards or whatnot. And I’m thinking of making similar concept ladies to create a collection/set of emotion/persona beauties in various colors.

Drawings: Notecards and Geometry

These drawings (done on standard note cards) represent some of my earliest experiments with form, line, geometric figures, and how to structure and fill compositions. If I had finished them all and say, published an art show or something, I would have called it “Geo-Safari”, and thus it would have shared a name with the first piece created:

  1. “Geo-Safari”  2. “GeoRaptor”  3. Original note card drawing of the artwork eventually adapted into “Madness” (though I would still like to adapt a version that fits better in this collection as I originally intended)  4. “Red-Eye”  5. “Geollyphant” 6.”GeoParrot”  7. “GeoWings”  8. “Mechnolick”  9. “Triagedy”

Most of these drawings were created with ink, graphite, acrylic paint, collaged paper, marker, and digital editing. They are in varying degrees of completion and conceptualization. I think most are from around 2013. I hope to adapt these or make something of them someday. Maybe….a gift card set? Postcards? Print sets?

Latest Work

So here is the most recent art thing I have worked on (on other words, the last artistic endeavor of mine I have touched or made progress on…I typically have…a million things working at once). It’s pencil, ink, marker, colored pencil in one of my larger sketchbooks. As with most of my work, finishing is harder for me than starting, and requires more applied intent, design-mindedness, and thought than the typical beginnings of works that are much more…flowing and random, spurred by emotion and motion (of my hand making the lines and that) and feel and experiment. And then it sort of takes form or starts to shape into something and builds.

It doesn’t have a title or anything yet, and I’m not sure what I’ll do with it, but here it is, out into the world to see where it goes or what it might become (just like how it was born…d’aww).

This is atypical of me in that I usually try to start from the beginning with my work, or add it all at once and be all thorough and whatnot, posting to all the various sites I have some sort of presence on (DeviantArt, Behance, Facebook, etc.) but for now I will be happy with my post here happening and the future potential of links and plan to post the final version to those sites. It makes me anxious to think that someone might see something I’ve made and not be able to find a nice coherent and complete site to peruse, but I’ll get there. Maybe I should make a watermark for my images next?